Don't Wish Upon a Star
by DuchessOfChaos
Summary: Arcadia is an aspiring assassin, mastering the art of stealth and killing. She wakes up on her 21st birthday to find the apocalypse has come. So much for that birthday wish on her sister's favorite star. Well, it's time for her to put her training to use. **My first story, so please let me know what I can do to improve!**
1. Chapter 1

1

Monday. Ugh, stupid Monday. I always hated them. Every time, something would screw up to make me feel bad for the rest of the day. Even in the summer time, some shit happened. Jesus, at least there was something I could look forward to; night time.

Night time was when everything was quiet; when I could recollect and recompose myself after the day's events. Plus, I got to spend the late night hours (except on weekends) with my best friend, Bailey. He taught me how to fight stealthily, like a ninja almost. His family was a collection of spies, assassins, and other things of that sort.

My family wasn't really like that. My parents were just some southern rich-ass pricks that paid no attention to their own offspring while sending them away to boarding school or to study in another damn country and spoiling them rotten. My little sister, Astra, I only knew her for the five short years she lived. She had leukemia, and despite all the treatment, it got the best of her. I was fifteen when she died, and it's been about five years since she passed away.

When she died, I felt like I had nothing left to remember her by, except for the stars since she loved to look at them every night. She especially loved seeing shooting stars, even though she didn't see too many of those. I wish she could have seen more; I miss her. To try and dismiss the emptiness I felt, I got a tattoo on my wrist when I was eighteen of a shooting star, so I could always have a little piece of her with me. I hardly ever see it these days, because of the long black gloves I wear for training.

I never asked for anything big for my parents, just that I didn't go to private school or to a foreign country to become something I didn't want to be. But despite my pleas, they still tried to do it. I left my parents after Astra died, leaving them for my grandpa. He wasn't a snobby prick; he was a gentle, happy-go-lucky man.

Grandpa let me do whatever I wanted, just as long as he knew what I was doing. I didn't mind telling him, I didn't want him to worry. He was very accepting towards me, and I could trust him, unlike my parents. He was also very supportive and did not criticize me. Not even when I got the small shooting star tattoo to remember Astra.

Even though I'm 20 years old and study my ass off in college, I still live with him. I can't leave him alone; ever since Grandma died, he's been so lonely. No one deserves to be lonely, although I feel lonely sometimes.

Anyway, this particular Monday night was the conclusion of my training in the arts of assassination. Bailey was so happy when he handed me the midnight black cloak. I unfolded it, fastened it around my neck, and pulled the hood over my slightly curly lavender hair that came to just above my shoulders. I smiled up at Bailey, and he handed me an 8-inch long survival knife as a replacement for the pitiful little training knife I started out with.

"Congratulations, you're now ready to go out on your own. Use your skills for what you think is right. Good luck out there, Arcadia," he said, putting his hand on my shoulder. I nodded.

"Thank you, Bailey. I won't let you down. I promise," I said, bowing my head. With that, he took his hand off my shoulder, and walked off into the night. That was my signal to leave, so I headed back home.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hi there! Here's chapter 2 for you all. Another short chapter, but I'm trying not to make it seem like the story's moving too slow. The chapters will be kinda short, but some may be a little longer. Well, I hope you're enjoying it so far! A side note: I didn't mean to put the number one in chapter 1, it was there from Word for my own reference. XD None of the other chapters will have numbers at the top. And now, let the story continue!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

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The house was completely silent when I cautiously opened the door. I tiptoed to my room, not wanting to wake Grandpa in case he was sleeping. Hearing a creak upstairs, I froze and looked towards the staircase. Well, so much for not waking Grandpa.

"Oh, you're back earlier than usual tonight," he said, turning on the foyer light when he reached the bottom of the stairs. I nodded, removing the hood from my head.

"I'm done, until I find a new person to train me," I responded, fixing my hair. Grandpa smiled.

"Well, to congratulate you, I got you something special. It was supposed to be your 21st birthday present, but since that's tomorrow, I'll give it to you now." He pulled out a hard silver case and handed it to me. I took it and looked it the tag on the handle._ Happy Birthday Arcadia, Love Grandpa_. There was a small shooting star drawn under the message.

Shoving the tag into my pants pocket, I opened the case and took out a small handgun. There was also one of those gun holsters that go around your thigh. I put the holster on, then tucked the gun inside it. Both were a perfect fit.

"To add to your arsenal, my little assassin. I hope you like it. It used to be mine, but you have more use for it than I do," Grandpa was starting to shed tears. He hugged me tightly. "I can't believe you're already twenty-one. Time flies." I hugged him back, thanking him for the gun and saying goodnight.

Before I crawled into bed, I put the gun and holster on my nightstand. Opening the blinds of one of my windows, I looked up at the clear night sky. There it was, shining brightly. Astra's favorite star. Closing my eyes, I made a birthday wish even though I never had good luck anyway. It was worth a shot. _Please, I just want nothing too bad to go wrong. Turning twenty-one shouldn't go wrong for me. Astra, wish me luck from up there_.

After shutting the blinds, I changed into my pajamas, and then curled up into a ball on my bed, slipping into the world of dreams.

Waking up from my dreamless sleep, I heard nothing going on in the house. My blinds were shut, so I clicked on my lamp. Nothing strange was revealed. I shrugged and put on some new clean clothes, not forgetting the small birthday tag and my gun. After fastening the holster and putting on my boots, I tied my cloak around my neck, then opened the door to my room. A faint growling sound echoed down the hall.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hello! Guess who's back with chapter 3? Sorry it's kinda late but I couldn't sleep so I finished it up and decided to post it now. Well enjoy! Thank you for reading, and I would appreciate any feedback (just nothing too harsh please!).**

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Cautiously walking down the hallway, many thoughts raced through my head. My main concern was just on the growling I had heard. I peered around the corner into the foyer. The door had been shattered into a million pieces, letting the sounds of screams from the outside world be heard. _What a great sign on my birthday._

I stepped towards the staircase, heading towards the source of the growling. Blood was splattered on some of the steps. _Lovely._ Careful not to step in the dark red fluid, I made my way up the stairs. The air reeked of decaying flesh, and I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

Once I had gotten up the stairs, I decided to check the two rooms up there. Grandpa's bedroom door was open and smothered with blood. Looking inside, I saw a disheveled looking figure shuffling around, blood dripping from its mouth and part of its face torn off. It perked its head up at my presence, and quickened its pace as its jaw snapped hungrily. _A zombie_…? I thought.

I took a step back, pulling out my knife. Then I proceeded to shove it against the wall and ram my knife right in the middle of its forehead. It fell to the floor with a thud. Deciding not to put my knife away just yet, I exited Grandpa's room and headed for the bathroom.

The door to the bathroom had a bright red blood splotch in the center. Blood dripped from the door handle; upon closer inspection, it looked very recent. Taking a deep breath, I kicked down the door and looked around. At my feet, there was even more blood, but this time it was a trail leading to a puddle. And lying in that puddle…was Grandpa. He had multiple bloody bites all over his body, but somehow was still alive. Another zombie was standing over him, feasting on his left arm.

I put away my knife and pulled the gun out of its holster. Turning off the safety, I aimed at the creature's head

"Get away from him!" I shrieked, holding back the tears that were welling up in my eyes. I pulled the trigger, and the zombie fell back onto the tile floor. Standing over Grandpa, I assessed his condition. His face was pale and his eyes were starting to glaze. I tried to get his attention, but he was unresponsive to everything. Closing his eyes for him, I sighed and wiped my hands on a towel on the counter.

_I need to get out of here, before I let myself get too sad. Bailey said an assassin should always try to be unmoved, no matter what the situation._

Running back downstairs, I barged into my room and grabbed a small sack to carry. I stuffed my inhaler in it, not taking the chance of a severe asthma attack. Then I went into the kitchen and looked for anything I could take. Taking two water bottles and a can of soup, I shoved them into the bag. A map lay open on the table, which I folded up and tucked in my pocket. There was one last thing I would need: ammo. Frantically opening every cabinet and cupboard, I finally found a few boxes and took all that I could carry. _Happy birthday to me._

Not wasting any more time, I dashed out of the house and into the street. More zombies were approaching from all directions, attacking people and sinking their teeth into them. Suddenly, a flood of gunshots echoed in the distance. Army trucks came barreling down the street, shooting anything that moved. Not wanting to get shot, I scaled a nearby tree and hid myself among the branches. Screams came from down below as multiple people were shot, and when everyone was down the trucks went back the way they came.

I got down from the tree and sighed. Running my fingers through my hair, I thought about where the best place to go would be. I pulled out the map and looked for a suitable city. My finger ended up on Atlanta. Perfect. I wasn't too far from there, so the journey wouldn't be too bad. Pulling my hood over my head, I started walking along the road that led to the highway.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Well hello again :D Just another update! Expect about 4 more chapters over the next few days. I'm sorry about not incorporating any Walking Dead elements yet, that shall happen next chapter! I hope you're all enjoying it, and I appreciate any suggestions or feedback c: And now, onward!**

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The sun began to set as I walked along the desolate highway. I had been walking all day, and I probably needed to rest. But I didn't want to stop. There was something about the crunching of the road beneath my boots that drove me to keep going. Each step meant I was getting closer to Atlanta, and farther from home. Good.

Cars were strewn about the road, some turned over and others in a pile of three or four. A few zombies walked around the highway, occasionally crossing my path, which led to their second demise. I used my knife for every kill to preserve my ammo and to sharpen my skills.

As I kept going, a large delivery truck surrounded by other cars blocked the rest of the highway. Taking a pause, I examined the barricade and calculated what I could do to get over it. _Crawl under? No. What if I got stuck? Go around? I wanted to avoid the woods, so no. Climb up and jump over? _

I looked up again, trying to find something that would be of some assistance. There were no ladders on the truck, but the cars were stacked in a somewhat suitable formation.

Stepping up onto the roof of the first car, I steadied myself, then scaled up the rest of the cars. Once I got on the top of the truck, I looked at the road ahead. Nothing much was different than the previous road, except the sun was almost completely down. Sighing, I jumped down from the truck and somersaulted forward upon landing. That was one of my favorite tricks Bailey taught me. _Bailey…_ _I wonder if he's all right. _

Immediately after jumping down, I heard footsteps coming from the direction I was heading in. Quickly, I ran over to the side of the highway, jumped over the guardrail, and hid in the small ditch. Peering in between the bars, I saw a pair of legs walking at a normal human pace. A small light illuminated the asphalt a tiny bit. Probably a flashlight…A person meant a chance for survival, or more supplies. Being one who did things on her own, supplies would be better for my case, even though that probably wasn't the wisest decision.

I pulled out my knife and got up on my knees, remaining undetected by the mystery person. Putting my feet on the guardrail, I balanced my weight, crouched, and pulled out my knife, preparing to pounce. I sprang off my feet, launching myself high in the air to get the advantage in the attack. I tackled the person, pinning them to the ground. Holding the knife to their throat, I whispered harshly and looked fiercely into the guy's eyes.

"Don't move. I'll slit your throat if you do." My voice was dry and raspy. I took a closer look at the guy; there was something familiar about him. _Wait a second. _"…Bailey?" I said, putting my knife away and getting up. He sat up.

"Arcadia! You're safe, thank goodness," he sighed. "Looks like you're really using what I taught you." He laughed. I smiled and nodded.

"Mhm. So where are you headed to?" I cleared my throat. "I was going to Atlanta."

"I've just been wandering around. I didn't really have a plan. I didn't think of that…it was smart of you to do that." He ran his fingers through his hair.

"It was just an instinct. Once the adrenaline kicked in, my thoughts raced and that popped into my head." Bailey looked around. The sun had disappeared and the sky was dark navy blue. I couldn't see the stars.

"What about your grandpa? Where is he?"

"…Dead. The zombies got him before I could do anything." I wiped my eyes.

"Oh…I'm so sorry Arcadia. But don't blame yourself…" he said, pulling me into a hug. "You can cry if you want."

I shook my head. I wasn't going to cry, not in front of the guy who trained me not to show emotion. He said I could this one time, but I still wasn't going to.

"I'll stick with you in this. You won't be alone, Arcadia." _Lies. I will always be alone. No matter what anyone says._ "We'll head to Atlanta in the morning. Get some sleep and I'll keep watch." He let me go, and I rested my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost immediately.

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**AN: Sorry about the awkward and kinda abrupt ending, I couldn't really think of anything! I'll improve in the next chapters, but any reviews and suggestions would be helpful. Thanks again for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: A long chapter up ahead! I'm not going to say much because of that, so enjoy! It's getting really wordy, and I apologize for that.**

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No dreams reached me that night. It's like my mind is slowly decomposing. Probably just a part of turning twenty-one; becoming an adult never appealed to me. I never really dreamed at night anyway. It was always during the day, and my parents would yell at me for it.

I sat up and opened my eyes, shading my face from the bright morning sun. Somehow I ended up lying down on the asphalt. Everything looked the same as yesterday, deserted and destroyed except it was brighter so every detail could be seen. I looked over at Bailey, who was walking around several feet in front of me.

I coughed and put a hand on my chest. It felt rather tight and I couldn't really breathe. Pulling out my inhaler from my bag, I exhaled, pushed down on the canister, and inhaled deeply. _That's better._ Asthma sucked. Sometimes I would wake up and my chest would be tight and other times I would randomly have an attack. There was one day I had to go to the emergency room for it, and that was when I found out it could become severe sometimes. That was why I carried my inhaler everywhere.

Bailey must have heard the inhaler because he turned around and walked towards me. He put away his knife and plopped down next to me.

"Morning. How'd you sleep?" he asked.

"Eh, ok I guess. My asthma must have gotten triggered by something because I had to use my inhaler. I'm fine now though," I answered. _But was I really fine? Was I really myself? Or was I slipping away? _ Bailey smiled.

"Good. Let's get going then. Onward to Atlanta." He stood up, holding his hand out in front of me. I grabbed it and stood up. Together, we kept walking to Atlanta. Bailey hesitantly let go of my hand. I felt like he didn't want to let go for some reason._ Has Bailey liked me all these years? Do I like him? Hell no I don't. _I shook my head at the thought. _That's not something to worry about right now. Focus on yourself and the current situation._

There were barely any walkers on the road. Any walkers that got in our way I took care of. I wanted to prove myself to Bailey, plus I had some emotions to get rid of. Our journey to Atlanta was silent. I didn't want to talk, but I wasn't sure about Bailey. My thoughts left me without words. That was how it was most of the time, me alone with my mind.

We reached Atlanta by mid-day. The sun was high above our heads, the heat beating down on us. It was a disaster zone; cars were in buildings, windows had been shattered, and blood was splattered on the street.

"We're here, so now what?" Bailey broke the silence.

"I…I have no idea. Look for things of use, I guess? Explore the city until we find some people?" I shrugged. He nodded in agreement. I walked a few paces ahead of him, leading the way. Looking around, I heard faint growls everywhere. _Shit. Well, I should have expected this._ There was an intersection and I could see a large department store a few blocks ahead. I started crossing the street, stopped in the middle, and turned to face Bailey. He was still on the other side.

"Arcadia, I have a bad feeling about this…" Right after he said that, zombies started coming from both sides of the street I was standing on. _Just my fucking luck. Dammit Bailey you always say the wrong thing at the wrong time._ Taking my stance, I tried to hold off some of them before running. I did a handstand, then split-kicked two of the monsters away. Getting back on my feet, I pulled out my knife and spun around, driving my knife right into one's head. Bailey ran up next to me, assisting me by taking his knife and ramming it into one's forehead.

"Bailey, we can't kill them all!" I yelled, pulling out my gun and starting to shoot the zombies. They had slowed down a bit, but there were still a lot. He opened his mouth to protest. "Just go! We'll find each other later, ok?"

"Be careful out there. Don't forget all those tricks I taught you," he said nodding. Just as I turned to run in the direction I was already heading, Bailey stopped me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Stay safe," he whispered, then ran off. _What the hell just happened…_The snapping of jaws filled my ears, and I turned to find one of them right behind me. After slashing the head completely in half, I proceeded to run forward, not daring to look back.

Almost out of breath, I stopped right in front of the store trying to catch my breath. I took a puff from my inhaler, then looked up at my surroundings. There was an alley and a street light on my left and the store was on my right. I was alone again. A zombie shuffled out of the alley, grasping the air as it came towards me. Grabbing the street light pole, I hoisted myself up and swung my legs around, kicking it in the head with a sickening crunch.

"Hey! Up here!" I heard someone shout from a rooftop. Looking up, I saw a group of people on the roof of the store, waving their arms and trying to get my attention. Panicking, I darted into the alley and hid behind a dumpster. Sighing, I turned my head to the side to be greeted by a snarling face with part of its mouth missing. I stabbed it in the eye, watching it slump over onto its side. _Those people, they could have a main group, which meant a stash of supplies and an arsenal of weapons. Perfect. I could get all that I need from them._ I decided to follow them once they got down from there so I could execute my plan.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in 2 days! Being sick and having writer's block doesn't really help. Plus having a life outside of writing this is stressful too. This chapter is long, like the last one, but now we get to the actual Walking Dead part! Well, without further ado, chapter 6 is what I present to you! (yes, I made that rhyme on purpose)**

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A drop of sweat dripped from my face and onto my hand. My legs were starting to hurt from being squished up behind in dumpster, not to mention it smelled horrible. _Well Arcadia, looks like they won't be down for a while. Might as well walk around the area until you hear them leave._

I pulled myself out from behind the dumpster and peered up at the store rooftop. They were still there, but they had disregarded my presence. Quietly sneaking out of the alley, I slipped into the nearest building in hope for something useful.

Looking around the deserted building, there was broken glass strewn all about the floor, and dark puddles of liquid. I sniffed the air. It was a strong and familiar smell, like the smell I smelled every day when I lived with my parents. But what was it? As I walked deeper into the building, the smell got stronger and denser. My boot hit an empty bottle on the ground, which made a slight clink as it came into contact. I picked it up and turned it over to look at the label. _Chardonnay…that was a type of wine, right? _

Still holding the bottle, I poked around in the other shelves, finding a whole assortment of alcoholic beverages. It was basically like the cabinets in the kitchen in my parents' house. I shuddered as I thought about my fifteen years of living there, regretting every single minute I spent in that wretched place.

It seemed as if there wasn't just one day my dad couldn't go without cracking open some bottle of some alcohol that had a fancy name. My mother told me not to bother him; he was allowed to do whatever he wanted. He was the main reason I left, plus Mother wasn't very supportive of me. She just went along with what he did, and didn't do anything about it if what he was doing was wrong. She was just trying to get me to get shipped off to boarding school.

There was one day when it all went too far, when I drew. Father had been drinking his whiskey, which smelled awful, and I was just minding my own business. There was the bellowing of my father and the shrill screams from poor little Astra. I ran into the kitchen to see Father holding the empty whiskey bottle above her, ready to strike it right down on her. Astra was growing weaker and weaker by the day when that happened, so I shielded her body with mine, taking the blow for her.

My arms were above my head, so the glass shattered as it collided into my arms. Tiny pieces pierced my skin like needles, while large shards stuck out of my forearm, causing me to bleed. I grabbed Astra and ran out of the room to our bedroom so no further damage could be done. Everything after that was a blur.

Tracing the scars on my arms after the horrible memory, I looked at the shelf in front of me. It was all whiskey. I couldn't stand to be around whiskey after that incident. Knocking the shelf to the ground, a bottle on the ground caught my attention and I picked it up. _Merlot? This is what Grandpa had in the kitchen._ The bottle was unopened and the liquid inside was a bluish-purplish color. I stashed it in my bag. _Grandpa..._

Just as I got outside, the people from the group on the roof were walking out of the city. Quietly, I tiptoed after them until they got into a van, which I climbed on top of in hope no one would notice. I squatted to distribute my weight and tried to stay on top. The van drove out of the city and along a road that led into the woods. The sun was going down, casting an orange glow across the sky.

The van started to slow down as it drove on a dirt road, probably leading to the camp. Not wanting to be seen by anybody, I back flipped off the van and onto the road, landing on my feet. I then ran towards a cluster of trees, launching myself off one tree, then off the one across from it to get a better view of things. People were sitting around a dim fire pit, talking about what they found on their scavenge in Atlanta. Climbing down a little lower, I settled into a set of branches, planned to attack in the morning, then dozed off.

The crunching of leaves startled me into waking up. Looking down, I didn't see anything walking around. _Probably just a squirrel._ I leaped down and rolled forward, pulling out my knife. Someone was here, and it wasn't a squirrel. One of them went looking for something and found me. Just as I turned around to walk towards the camp, I sensed a presence behind me. A blunt force almost struck my head as I dodged it at the last second. A man with short, dark curly hair and an odd nose met my eyes as I held my knife out towards him, putting on the most intimidating face I had.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? A little rat come to party with us?" the man spoke provokingly. I snarled.

_Damn. What did I get myself into?_


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Here's chapter 7! I apologize in advance for anything you, my dear readers, find to be wrong with it. Enjoy!**

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"Are you gonna talk or just stand there, little missy?" the man said impatiently.

"Actions speak louder than words," I spat. Peeling my cloak off my shoulders, I stuffed it in my bag and tightened the strap to secure my bag to my body. He lifted up a large shovel above my head, just like Father had raised that empty bottle. I rolled to the side as it came down, smacking the ground with a metal thud. Adrenaline began to pump through my body and I took a deep breath.

This time, the shovel was swung to the side, aiming for my legs. I jumped onto the shovel, bringing it down into the dirt. Using it to launch myself up, I flew up into the air and body slammed the man into the dust. It was powerful enough to knock the wind out of him, causing him to gasp for breath. Or so I thought.

He regained control of himself and tried to throw me to the side. My feet skidded across the dirt as I tried to steady myself. Suddenly, my leg stung and I was knocked onto the ground on my stomach. _How could I forget? Never let yourself become a distraction. Always focus on the target._ _Bailey said I always focused too much on balance. _Lost in thought, I felt a hand grab my wrists and tie them behind my back. I was then pulled up onto my feet.

"Bitch. You put up a struggle. Let's see what the others decide what to do with you." The man's voice was harsh and unforgiving. Leading me to the rest of the people in his group, he shoved me onto ground. I winced as I landed on the leg that was stinging and saw blood dripping out of a cut on my thigh.

"Shane? Who the hell's this chick?" one voice said. I looked in the direction of the voice and saw a scruffy man holding a crossbow. Probably redneck.

"Found her right outside our camp. Hell, she's a toughie. She dodged everything like one of them spies. Except 'til I kicked her down," Shane said. "Ain't that right, missy?" He bent down and looked at me. I spat in his face in return. Swinging my good leg, I tripped him and caused him to faceplant in the dirt, then picked myself up on my feet.

"Who's down now?" I taunted. I heard a giggle from the redneck. Shane picked himself up and glared.

"Rick! Bring everyone over here!" he yelled, clearly very pissed off. I snickered.

"What?" a man in a sheriff's shirt and hat asked, leading a group of about ten or more people. "Who's this?"

"Some sneaky little bitch I found right outside the campsite." He put a little too much emphasis on "bitch." Rick glanced at me, examining my current condition.

"Stop calling me that!" I protested.

"Maybe she would like to explain herself?" Rick said, his eyes wandering to the bloodstain on my leg. Honesty wasn't going to get me far in this situation, but I didn't have any good lies either. _Just make it seem like a sad sob story._

"I was spying on your group, and I was planning to possibly raid your camp. But after I saw the…the connections between you all, I decided against it. I've been on my own ever since this whole mess started. I would tell you my whole story, but it's probably not going to make a difference in your decision," I explained. Rick nodded slowly and walked closer to me. Without a word, he untied my hands.

"You got a name?" he asked.

"Arcadia. My name's Arcadia Knight." I rubbed my wrists.

"Well Miss Arcadia, how about we get you patched up and you can explain to us your whole story. Glenn and Dale, get the first-aid kit. Everyone else, return to what you were doing." At that, everyone dispersed off into different directions. A young Asian man and an old man with a fisherman's hat on his head went into an RV to go get the first aid. There was also a blonde woman sitting in front of the RV, but she seemed undisturbed by all the hustle and bustle. "Can you walk?" Rick asked, to which I nodded in response.

He led me over to what looked like a fire pit, gesturing for me to sit down. Glenn and Dale brought Rick bandages and other things that would be of use, then walked away. I straightened out my leg, wincing as pain shot up my leg.

"So, start from the beginning. From when the whole storm started to the point where Shane found you," he said as he found a tube of disinfectant to use. _Might as well be honest. _I explained to him what had happened, how it had been my birthday, Grandpa's dying moments, getting separated from Bailey in Atlanta, how Shane had sliced my leg, and somehow ending up telling him about my parents and Astra. He had finished dressing my wound about halfway into my explanation.

"One thing I'm concerned about is your skills. Like what would be a benefit to having you around?" he asked.

"I'm an assassin. Skilled in the art of killing and stealth. I'm still working on the stealth part, though. I just finished my training." Rick perked up his head.

"Arcadia, it'll be a pleasure having you in our group. I'm sure you'll be very useful."


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Hello my darling readers~ Sorry I haven't updated in FOREVER (about 2 or 3 weeks seems like a while). Life gets pretty stressful sometimes. I don't have a consistent update schedule, but I'll try to do it at least a few times every week until I develop a routine. Favorites, follows, and reviews are much appreciated! Especially reviews, since I will only get better from criticism. Well, after your long wait, I present to you chapter 8 (another unintentional rhyme). Enjoy, and I hope you have or had a lovely day 3**

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I didn't really get a good look at the camp until after I was done talking with Rick. Blood was splattered about in puddles; corpses lay in the dirt with gunshots in their faces. _Kinda like what I woke up to that morning._ There was a strange, depressing air to the camp. I didn't bother to comment on it.

No one in the group recognized my presence. To them, I was just another person who got caught in this shitstorm. They were all busy doing their own thing or helping dispose of the multiple dead bodies. What was I supposed to do? Talk to someone? I didn't want to bother Rick again, and I certainly did not want to talk to Shane. Looking around, I saw the blonde lady from earlier sitting by the RV. Rick mentioned something about her sister getting attacked.

I walked over to her and sat down next to her. She was stroking the hair of a younger looking girl with lighter blonde hair. The girl's eyes were closed and there was a bloody wound on one of her arms and one side of her neck. She wasn't breathing either.

"…Was she your little sister? Or was she older?" I asked, breaking the silence. She looked at me like I was crazy. _Shit I was never good at starting conversations._

"Younger. By twelve years," she responded reluctantly. I nodded.

"I'm sorry this happened. I lost my sister too…when she was only five. She had leukemia, but lost the battle." I sniffed. _Don't fucking cry_. _Astra wouldn't have wanted you to cry_."It's been five years since she died, and it's been hard to cope, but I had someone alongside me to give support."

"Oh my goodness…I'm so sorry," she said. "…what's your name? I'm Andrea."

"Arcadia. It's nice to meet you…and finally talk to someone here." She smiled.

Suddenly, Andrea's sister stirred and opened her eyes. They were completely bloodshot and the turquoise irises lacked pupils. It was like a hollow gateway to her non-living soul. No signs of original life were present.

"Amy, I'm sorry. Sorry I was never there." Andrea said, stroking her sister's hair. Amy began to sit up and growl, trying to get closer to Andrea. "But I'm here now." She raised her gun to her dead sister's head, then pulled the trigger. The shot echoed all around. "I love you."

At this point, the men had started to go dig holes for the people who died that were a part of the group. The rest of the bodies had been burnt, leaving a putrid smell in the air. Andrea still hadn't let go of Amy, and I know exactly why she doesn't It's the same as I was when Astra died. I didn't want to let go of her; I wanted to hold her as long as I could. Eventually Grandpa had to come and pry me away from her since my parents failed at getting me off.

Astra's funeral was short, but memorable. I picked out her outfit, the casket, and tombstone. The fifteen-year-old me said a few things for her. I still have the paper that had them (yes I kept that little scrap of paper on my person at all times). Other relatives said a few words, but it was mainly me who talked. Well, Grandpa did too.

The point is, even in grief, I always had Grandpa to support me. And that's exactly what Andrea needed right now. She was caressing Amy's face and crying softly. Rick and Shane had come over to take Amy's body to the holes with the rest of the dead; they were just standing right next to us.

"Andrea…they need to take Amy away now," I began. She turned to face me, her eyes puffy and red. "And even though she's not here in the physical world anymore, she's still with you…in here." I pointed to her heart. That was exactly what Grandpa had told me when Astra passed, and it had worked. She nodded slowly, seeming to understand. "Now let's get up so we can go give her the proper respects, okay?" Getting myself up off the ground, I brushed my legs off, then helped Andrea stand up.

She put Amy's body in the newly dug hole without any help. She refused anyone's help, even Dale's. The body had been wrapped in what looked like a big white sheet. It hit the bottom of the hole with a thud when Andrea set it down. Once the men had finished replacing the dirt in every hole, they led everyone else back to the main camp after a brief moment of silence. Andrea stood still in front of Amy's grave. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dale looking back at her. I nodded at him, signaling I would stay with her, then he kept walking.

"…you don't need to stay here with me, you know," she murmured.

"I know, but it's the least I can do. I know exactly how it feels, so I'm here for you. Whether you like it or not, I'm helping you through this," I said, trying to be of some help. She turned towards me, looking me right in the eyes. I looked straight back, and I could see the sorrow and sadness in them. Tears started to leak for them again, but she was trying so hard to fight them back. I pulled her into a comforting hug and felt her hug me back. Muffled sniffles and sobs came from her. "Shh, it'll be okay. Don't cry. She wouldn't have wanted you to cry," I whispered reassuringly. Andrea lifted her head from my shoulder slightly.

"I miss her so much…I want her back." She sniffled.

"I know, I know," I said, stroking her hair. "We all do."

From that moment on, I knew I would have to be like the little sister she never had, and be there for her as much as I could. We had both lost our little sisters, so we knew how each other felt. And that way, we could support each other in tough times.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Well hello there lovelies! Never fear, chapter 9 is here! I'm sorry that was really lame. This is a kind of a filler chapter, sorry not sorry about that. Anyway, enjoy! Please favorite, follow, and review! I'll only get better if you tell me what I'm doing wrong. There's also another thing I have to say, but I'll save it for the end of this chapter. Ok I'll shut up now so you can read.**

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Andrea eventually calmed down enough to lead her back to the main group. She told me she wanted some time to herself, so I let her be and went to go off on my own musings. I ended up talking to everyone else in the group, even though I'm not quite the social butterfly. They were all still cleaning up the campsite. I heard someone say something about going to the CDC.

Mostly everyone was nice, or so they made themselves out to be. No one knew I was an assassin, and I sure as hell did not want them to know. Who knows how they would react to that? They'd probably think I would kill them all. But that's what I'm wondering myself; would I kill them eventually? _Holy shit Arcadia what is happening to you? Don't become a psychopath._

I'm going to have to tell them at one time or another. Maybe once I've been around for a bit, so they won't be startled by it as much? Honesty is the best policy, after all. Wait...no it's not.

Well anyway, I ended up watching two little kids, Sophia and Carl. And let me tell you, they were such cuties oh my goodness gracious. At first I thought they were siblings, but then my thought was proven wrong after talking to them. Although I felt like a babysitter, I enjoyed it since it had been five years since I had been near little kids. Sophia kinda reminded me of Astra, but she was older. She didn't look like her though, or look like the little bit of what I could remember of Astra's appearance. It bugged me that I couldn't remember what my own little sister looked like, but Grandpa said it would one day just come to me unexpectedly.

"Your hair's purple," Carl pointed out. I smiled. Little kids were always fascinated by my hair.

"Mhm. Took me a while to get it the right shade. It was hard, but worth it in the end," I said, twirling a lock of it around my finger.

"I think it's really pretty. It makes me think of those flowers you see in pictures of fields," Sophia said sweetly. _This child's adorableness is going to be the death of me._

"Thank you Sophia. That's so nice of you to say. You remind me so much of my little sister. Maybe later I'll tell you guys about her." I picked up my bag up of the ground beside me and played with the strings. My gloves were kind of sticking out from the side. _Note to self: find a bigger bag if possible._

"What's in there?" Sophia asked with a natural curiosity.

"Just the things I grabbed before leaving home. Food, ammo for my gun," I said, patting my holster. "Also there's my inhaler, my gloves, my cloak, and a bottle of wine. Don't touch the wine, though."

"You have a cloak? Can I try it on?" Carl asked enthusiastically. His face lit up like it was Christmas. I nodded, laughing as he tied the string and pulled the hood over his head.

"It's a little big for you, but it looks quite nice," I commented. He then took it off and politely handed it back to me, thanking me.

"Arcadia, why do you have a cloak and gloves?" Sophia cocked her head to the side.

"That, sweetie, is a story for another time. A really long story that I'll tell you when I talk about my sister." She smiled.

"Okay. You're really nice Arcadia. Like an older sister I never had...Will you be my sister?"

"Of course I will, as long as you'll be my sister too," I responded, causing her to smile. She then gave me a cute little hug, which was surprising at first, but I hugged her back.

Sophia's mom and Carl's mom came and sat down with us after that. They really appreciated me watching them, and I told them it was no problem.

"Mommy, can Arcadia be my sister?" Sophia pleaded. "Please? She said it was okay." Her mom, I think her name was Carol, smiled and nodded.

"Sure she can, but you know I'm not her mother, right?" Sophia nodded. I looked over at Carl, who was telling his mom, Lori, about me and apparently how cool he thought I was.

After a few minutes, I think, everyone else came and sat down around the fire pit. I saw Andrea in one chair, fast asleep. _Good. She needs all the rest she can get._ We all waited patiently for Rick, Shane, and Dale from doing stuff I had no idea about. Shane started talking about how he agreed with Rick about the CDC and how it was important that we all stick together.

"Anyone who also agrees, we'll leave first thing in the morning," he said, glancing around at everyone. No one had any immediate reaction. That or I didn't notice any. When Shane finished talking, it was starting to get dark, so everyone dispersed into their tents and went to sleep. I volunteered to take watch, just so when I told everyone about being an assassin, they wouldn't react too badly.

The night air was cool and breezy. I had to put on my cloak, but it felt nice. Sitting on top of the RV, I could all around the camp and an overlook of Atlanta. It's only been a day since I was there. Since I was separated from Bailey. Since he fucking kissed me on the cheek.

How did I feel about that, though? It was a sweet gesture on his behalf, but it was just a little…I don't even know. It just happened all of a sudden. He's never shown any sign of liking me, so unless he's hiding something from me, I don't see why he did it.

I missed Bailey, but I told myself not to cry over it. Of course, that didn't stop at least one tear from sliding down my cheek. My heart ached every time I thought about what could have happened to him. He could be dead, on the brink of death, a zombie, severely hurt, or still alive. _I swear Bailey, if you aren't alive when I find you, I'll kill you. Even if you're in the afterlife or whatever._

I looked up and searched for Astra's star. There was barely any light around, except for the dim glow of the fire, so I could see so many stars all around. I eventually found it, the center star in Orion's Belt. That was the star she picked since she saw the three stars in a row.

"The middle's the best in everything, Arcadia. It's not too much and not too little. Like with those sour candies. The ones that are in the middle aren't too sweet or too sour," she had said to me one night as we sat on the railing of our back porch.

I kept looking to the past as I sat on top of the RV. Although I know I should be looking to the future, I felt like there was no future to look forward to anymore. Maybe sometimes it's better to dwell on the past than look to the future. Or maybe sometimes I'm insane.

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**AN: Hi again! I hope you enjoyed this filler-ish chapter. I shall now address the thing that I was talking about up there in the first note. So, being a writer is fun and all because you get to come up with so many cool ideas and transform them into your own creation. It's like alchemy, but with words. Anyway, as much as I like coming up with ideas myself, I wouldn't mind if you guys suggested some things that should happen in DWUaS (that's the short name for Don't Wish Upon a Star). So please, if you have an idea, post it as a review or PM me and I will consider using it. Thanks for reading, and I hope you have or had a wonderful day! **


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Hi guys! This might be the only update until this weekend, so I apologize about that. I have stuff and things to do. Finally we get some progress in this story. Sorry that it's a bit slow! Anyway, favorite, follow, and review please; I would highly appreciate it! Also leave me any suggestions/ideas you have in the review box down there or message me! Have a fantastic week, and enjoy chapter 10!**

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I refused to sleep at all that night. I felt like I wouldn't be able to stay asleep. Dale tried to take watch, asking if I was tired. Of course I said no. I wanted time with my thoughts, not with my dreams. Plus if I was asleep on the journey or whatever, no one could ask about me. There I go being antisocial again.

The sun rose after a while. Sunrises are honestly very pretty, but when you wake up at dawn every day, it kind of gets a little old after a while. I sighed, admiring the rosy pink and orange sky.

I heard someone stirring below me and looked over the side of the RV. Rick, Shane, and Daryl (I learned that this was the redneck's name) were awake and moving, but heading in opposite directions. Rick was headed to another part of the hillside that overlooked Atlanta. Daryl was walking towards the forest, probably to hunt. Shane was walking towards the RV, looking all around.

"Come on down missy. I think we'll be fine for a while," Shane stated, holding out his hand to help me down. "Plus we need to talk."

"I'm not moving. You can talk to me from down there, about whatever it is you need to talk about," I said, adding a hint of sass in each word. He shot me a dirty look and lowered his hand back to his side.

"Alrighty then, have it your way. But you have to listen and respond to everything, okay?" he said, glancing up at me to make sure. "Okay?" I groaned and nodded, just so I could end this conversation. "What I want to know is who the hell are you?"

"Arcadia. I'm the one and sure as hell the only Arcadia Knight." I was beginning to lose my temper. I didn't want to talk this asshole. He stabbed me in the leg, threw me on the ground, and almost hit me with a shovel. Anyone who does that to me automatically gets put on that list of people I hate. Then again no one has done that to me.

"Yeah, I know that. It's been said already. I meant like what are you? No average person could pull all those stunts you pulled yesterday when I found you," he remarked. _Shit. Why did it have to come to this? _ I let out a small laugh.

"Heh, looks like you've caught me. I am no average person," I stated, back flipping off the RV and landing on my feet with a thud. "I'm an assassin." Looking up at Shane's face, I saw he was in complete shock.

"A god damn assassin?! That's why you could…Of all things that's what you are?"

"Yeah. So what? Get over it." I crossed my arms.

"Get over it? You could kill us all in less than a minute!"

"Actually it'd take about two minutes at the most depending on certain variables…"

"Shut up! That doesn't make this any better!"

"Neither is complaining about it! If you don't like it, do something about it."

"I will! I'll tell everyone and see what they think of having a snarky, bitchy assassin around them all the time." I grabbed his shirt collar and violently pulled him towards me.

"Listen. You tell any of them I'm an assassin, and I will be sure you are the first I kill. I will not hesitate to end your life," I hissed. Fear washed over his face, and he was slightly blushing. I shoved him away from me. "No one finds out until I say so. End of discussion." Turning on my heel, I didn't bother to look back. "Fucking idiot," I murmured while dramatically taking off my cloak.

Nothing eventful happened while waiting for everyone else to wake up. I sat in a chair around the fire pit so I could be alone and away from any stupidity. Taking my knife out of my holster, I ran my finger along the smooth metal of the blade to keep myself busy. Once everyone was awake, people started moving in every which way to help load everything into the vehicles. After that was done, Shane called everyone together in front of the RV to discuss the plans for travel. I zoned out after the first sentence.

One thing that heartbreaking for the group was one family wasn't going with the rest of us; they were going to try and find the rest of their family. Sophia seemed stuck by it the most because she must have been such good friends with the little girl in that family. The girl gave Sophia her stuffed doll as a goodbye present, which even tugged at my heart strings just a little. Dammit I hated to cry. Once every goodbye had been said, we all loaded up and moved on out.

After driving for a while, the RV started smoking, so everyone had to pull over. I hopped out of the truck I had been sitting in for god knows how long. Daryl had been driving and he only provided very minimal small talk. I didn't want to make a bad impression so I just gave seemingly normal responses.

Anyway, our group was a mess. First the RV was busted, and secondly one of the men, Jim, in the group was suffering from a walker bite (I had been told that they called zombies "walkers"). Rick went into the RV to talk to him after the African American lady in the group said Jim was doing badly. Shane and another guy, T-Dog, had driven ahead to go find something for the RV.

After a short moment, everyone came back together and Rick discussed with the adults what Jim wanted to do. I eavesdropped on the conversation while quickly scribbling in a journal I had found in my bag. Although I barely heard what was said, I caught the gist of it. Jim wanted to die already and we were going to leave him behind.

Rick and Shane carried the limp body out of the RV to a nearby tree. There they let him down and propped him up against the tree. Everyone said their last words to him, and then we were on the road again to the CDC.

I wrote the accounts of the past few days in my journal, labeling my birthday as day one, then roughly estimating how many days it had been since then. I had no clue, so I guessed ten. So that made today day eleven if I was right. Then again who knows how long I was on the road before I found Bailey. It probably wasn't ten days. Maybe a hundred? I lived a good distance from Atlanta, so it might have taken me a while to walk. Sometimes things just past by me, and I have no recollection of them. One time I spent two months in a hibernation-like state that landed me in the hospital.

Anyway, I must have let my thoughts get the best of me because the next time I looked up, everyone had stopped on the road. Looking out the window, I saw a gigantic roundish building with glass windows. The sun was setting, which cast a pinkish glow along the building.

"Hop on out missy," Daryl said, climbing out of the truck. I opened my door and jumped to the ground. Everyone else was piling out of their vehicles and I waited until Andrea came out so she wouldn't be alone again.

Together we all walked to the entrance of the CDC. I kept looking around, observing my surroundings and taking anything into consideration. We approached one of the heavy looking garage doors on the building. Rick tried one, two, four times to get the doors open. Everyone was starting to panic because it was getting darker by the minute. I backed up from the group and started slicing walkers' heads one by one. It was like keeping a safe perimeter around everyone. After I killed a few, less started to stumble towards us. This gave me the opportunity to consult my thoughts. The doors weren't opening so I needed a plan.

_Escape? Where would I go, and how would I get out of here? Find another way in? This is the fucking Center for Disease Control. They're probably so sealed up that no foreign matter can get in by any other way but the doors. _After placing my knife back in its holster, I ran a gloved hand through my hair and let out a frustrated sigh. _You need to decide what to do Arcadia. Every decision leads you to life or death now._ _Now, you can ditch them, find another way, or even kill them and be on your own way again. What's your choice?_

I put a hand on my hip. Taking out my cloak, I slipped it back on and prepared to run. Just as I turned on my heel to run in the other direction, I heard a metal creaking sound. The doors had opened and everyone was going inside.

"Arcadia, what are you doing? Come on!" Rick said, gesturing for me to follow everyone.

"Err, I was just…stretching. Yeah," I said, walking towards the safety of the CDC. "Here I come." _Stretching? Really Arcadia? That's the best you could think of?_

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**AN: You thought I was done talking? I just have one more thing to say. Give my friend some credit because she helped come up with the last few paragraphs! She's totally amazing! Thanks for reading, and until next time, adieu lovely readers!**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Hello there everyone! I've been gone for a while now, but I'm back with an update! This took me a while to write because of many reasons. But to in order to get this to you as soon as possible, I won't list them. Let's just say life and writer's block can both be a bitch. Also I changed my pen name, so I am now DuchessOfChaos. Anyway, enjoy this new chapter and expect many more in the future! Oh if any of you have any triggers, there is some suicide in this chapter so be careful for that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Walking Dead in any way. Only Arcadia and Bailey belong to me.**

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I fell in step with the rest of the group as we walked inside the gigantic building. We stopped in the first room, which was like a lobby of some sort. There was an information desk, some stairs, giant windows, and a big sign with the CDC logo on it. The floors were made of linoleum tile, kind of like the ones you would see in the hospital. My boots clicked on them as I walked.

I looked around, just like everyone else was doing. At my first glance, I was already decided whether or not I could escape from this place if a situation were to happen. So far, my chances of leaving were very minimal, unless I considered the air vents, depending on their size and how spread out they were.

"Hello? Hello?" Rick said, his voice echoing across the deserted entrance. A messy looking man came out from the shadows. I assumed he worked here, probably as a doctor, and chose to hide away from the world here.

"Anyone infected?!" the man shouted. _Take it easy man we're not going to kill you. Well actually I might, but I don't know about the others._

"One was, but he's no longer with us," Rick replied.

"Wh-what are you here for?" The man's voice was heavy.

"A chance."

"That's a lot to ask for."

"I know." Words hung in the air, suspended by tension.

"You'll all to have to take blood tests, that's what will let you stay." The man said after a moment. Rick agreed to these terms. I wanted to protest, but that wouldn't get me anywhere. Maybe get me kicked out, but it would probably be better if I stayed in here. Needles and blood and stuff didn't make me squeamish. I just didn't like people violating my personal bubble even more than the usual sitting too close to me or poking me. Going inside the body was just too far. That sounded a bit suggestive and I did not mean for it to do that.

"And anything you have to bring, bring it now because this door won't open again once it's closed." Rick once again understood and agreed. I sure as hell didn't. _Why don't I just leave? Because that would be a really dumb idea. _

We brought in all our supplies as the doctor entered a code into a keypad and said a command to seal the doors. I turned around to look at the door shut, sealing me away from the world and possibly sealing my fate. _No turning back now. _ Rick introduced himself to the doctor, who was Dr. Edwin Jenner.

Dr. Jenner then led us into an elevator, which I assumed was going down, deeper into the CDC. After a moment, Daryl started talking to the doctor, but I zoned out completely. It was just small talk anyway. I didn't give a fuck about talking. I gave a fuck about staying alive, though. Would talking keep me alive? Probably not, so why care?

After riding the elevator down, Dr. Jenner led us through a hallway to where he was going to test our blood.

"Are we underground?" Carol asked.

"Why? Are you claustrophobic?" the doctor said.

"A little…"

"Don't think about it."

We kept walking in silence, except for the clicking of some people's shoes. It was mostly my shoes though. I looked up at Andrea. She had the same expression on her face from a while ago: pained and sorrowful. I took off my gloves and stashed them in my bag, then took Andrea's hand in mine and smiled gently at her. She looked down at her hand and mine, then smiled.

"I didn't know you had a tattoo on your wrist. It's very pretty," she said. I looked down at my left wrist and saw the small shooting star.

"Thank you. I got it in memory of my little sister," I replied. It felt nice to talk to Andrea. I could trust her, I knew I could.

"What was her name? I don't think you ever told me."

"Astra. It's funny because she loved stars, and her name means star or something similar." Andrea smiled.

After walking down the long corridor, we were led into a large room with many computers. There was also some sort of clock counting down by the second. The doctor explained to us what the giant room was.

I sniffed the air. _Dull. Barren. Empty. Hopeless._ All were familiar smells to me, but I had never encountered all at the same time. Looking around, I noticed the doors were all industrial-strength type doors and the lack of windows. Any vents I saw looked too small to crawl through. _If I die here, I'll haunt the sons of a bitch that still live._ _Jesus I'm trapped in a huge metal box full of people I barely know. Dear lord please let me be the one that lives._

Dr. Jenner had been explaining to the rest of the group more about the facility, and none of it was important to me. But then he mentioned something about food, showers, and beds. Now that caught my attention loud and clear. My hair could really use some treatment. They probably don't have any lavender hair dye in this place though. What a shame.

After the food had been prepared and the blood had been tested (which hurt like hell if you were wondering), everyone sat down around a giant makeshift table and had a good time with eating and drinking. Last time I saw something like this was a dinner party hosted by my parents. That was before our family…changed. _Stop thinking about your family. You hate them._ Thanks for the reminder, inner voice.

I didn't contribute to much conversation; I simply didn't feel the need to. I stayed quiet and sipped glasses of my merlot.

"Arcadia how old are you?" I heard Shane ask. _Fucking stay out of my business please._

"Twenty-one. Why does it matter?" I replied flatly, taking a sip from the glass in my hand.

"Oh I was just trying to get to know some basic stuff about you, since we don't know too much."

"Well what do you want to know?"

"Where you're from, what you did before all this started, and maybe what you did before you found us?" he suggested.

"Let's see I'm from northern Georgia, I was a college student and took a lot of classes about anatomy and things like that, and before I found you guys, I was traveling to Atlanta with my friend until we got separated from each other. Anything else?" I said.

"Anything special about you we should know?" he asked pretentiously.

"Ha, no. I'm really not that special. I know martial arts, self-defense, gymnastics, and stuff similar to that, but I'm just a regular female young adult." Lying to people is so amusing.

"What about your family? Were you with them at all?" Dale asked. I shook my head.

"I left my parents to go live with my grandpa after my little sister passed away. Then they day all these stupid walkers show up, those monsters came and took my grandpa. I don't know if my parents are alive still, but frankly I don't want to." I felt my heart begin to ache at the thought of Grandpa.

_If you miss him and Astra so much, why don't you go join them?_

For once, I didn't feel like telling my inner voice to shut the fuck up. It had a point.

Their losses were becoming distractions to me. And the solution to my distraction was to just end it all.

_That's right Arcadia._ _Suicide._

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**AN: I would like to give some credit to my best friend for the idea for the ending of this chapter, and the idea for the next chapter. Please give her a round of applause *claps***

**Until next time my dear readers!**

**-DuchessOfChaos**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Um...hi guys. So here's another chapter. Yeah nothing more to say about that. Oh, thank you for those who reviewed! I appreciate your honesty and suggestions a lot! More reviews and suggestions would be appreciated also! Also thank you to the friend that helped me with editing this update! **

**Disclaimer: I still don't own The Walking Dead. I think that's a good thing though.**

**One last note, like last chapter there is suicide in this chapter. Trigger warning there (maybe for some of you)**

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It was awkwardly quiet after mentioning my family. Thinking of something witty but not too bitchy to say, I set my wine glass down and crossed my arms.

"Look. I don't want any sympathy or special treatment. Just know that I'm another person like you who got caught in this mess. I have my personal stuff that nobody needs to know, and I'm sure everyone else does too." Silence. "And those secrets get to live another day." I added, smirking.

All through the rest of dinner I couldn't stop thinking of the suicide notion given by my inner voice.

_Join them Arcadia. Become one of them. _That sounded a little creepy.

I stared at the table blankly, silently waiting until I could go decide how to end my fate here and now. What was I supposed to use?

_Use your gun, dumbass. Shoot yourself in the head for a quick death. Or you can slit your wrists and bleed out slowly and painfully. _Well then, I'll think on that. But those are some limited options though. _Then find a way to hang yourself…_

After finishing dinner, Jenner led us to where all the bedrooms and showers were. Some people shared a room, but I got my own next to Andrea's room. Throwing my bag on the floor next to the bed, I flopped down into the lone chair in the corner. This place reminded me of a hospital.

I sighed, kicked off my boots, and stood up to walk to the bathroom. Not much in there. A shower with a white curtain, a small sink with a mirror, and a toilet; just a basic bathroom. Simple, but simple was all I was going to get.

The hot water from the shower had removed all the dirt collected on my body. I have never seen so much dirty water go down a drain in my entire life. What was not cleansed was my mind.

All I could think about was I came into this group out of the blue and they had accepted me when I was about to murder every single one of them. Then some of them talked to me and assumed I was a nice little girl. I sat down in the shower, watching the water slide down the drain. Trust isn't something that should just be given out so haphazardly. Frustrated, I slammed my fists down onto the tile floor of the shower.

_Why are you angry? Do you want to back out of your suicide?_

"Something isn't adding up here. I want to kill all of these people, but I took sympathy for them and they trusted me," I whispered to myself.

_Tsk tsk. You let your guard down and your emotions got in the way._

"This is exactly what I wanted to avoid for the rest of my life. I didn't want to feel anything anymore after…after…I can't even remember what it was."

_What was it Arcadia? Family? Friends? School? Boys? Come on, spit it out!_

"I can't remember, okay?!" I yelled, hopefully not too loud. "I felt like my life was too perfect and it scared me to see everyone else in a position below me! Why couldn't everyone have all the privileges I had? Why was it so difficult? I didn't understand!"

_What does that have to do with not feeling anything?_

"I don't know! I just didn't want to feel scared anymore…What was I supposed to do? That's why I went to Bailey for help. He seemed like he knew what to do in a situation like this."

_Wow._ _That's all I can say._

Still angry but somewhat calm, I got out of the shower and dried off. Seeing my reflection in a mirror was strange. I hadn't seen myself since my birthday and I hadn't changed a lot. There were dark circles under my eyes, but everything else was the same.

Exhaling through my nose, I left the bathroom and looked through my bag for some clean comfy clothes I could wear. Luckily I found some and they were actually pajamas, which I did not expect. Life is just full of surprises, isn't it?

_Yeah, but you won't be able to experience them anymore._ Yeah yeah I know inner voice. I'm sick of referring to you as inner voice, but since I'm about to end my life that means I'm technically ending you too. So there's no point in giving you a shorter name. Bye, inner voice. You were a bitch most of the time, but you kept me company. _Ditto Arcadia. _

I looked at the bed and the clean sheets spread on it. Now I may be inconsiderate at times, but the bed looked too clean to ruin. The floor could be easily cleaned, so that was the better choice. _Even in your last moments, you're being ironic. _Who said I would die serious?

What do I use though? A knife or a gun? I wish someone could have picked for me. It was like choosing between a delicate ending to a poem or going out with a bang in a magic show; two totally unrelated things. My life wasn't a poem or a magic show. It was just…a mystery. Mysteries don't end all of a sudden.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a glint of light come from my bag. As if on cue, my knife had shown up. It found its way into my hand and I sat down cross legged on the ground.

I knew from other people's experiences that they had so much going through their mind before they attempted their suicide. Happiness, sadness, doubt, and anxiety were the most common emotions they told me they had, and after they failed to do it they were regretting every bit of it. But all I felt was a sense of nothing; I was still mad but that didn't have to do with dying.

The blade of the knife hovered over the skin of the inside of my right wrist, ready to expose the contents of my veins. As it got closer and closer to my flesh, the less I cared about dying.

_You're okay with dying as a bitch Arcadia? _Well I wasn't born a proper lady, so yes.

The cold metal of the blade sent a shiver up my back as it touched my skin. Now all that was left was to do was to apply pressure to the knife and slide it over my skin.

But I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Why am I so fucking insane!?" Angrily, I threw my knife across the room at the wall. There was a loud thud as it bounced off the wall and fell to the floor.

_Chickening out, you little pansy?_

"Shut up already!" I spun around and screamed at the wall. "The things you tell me, they aren't sane. They're fucking disturbing! To know there's something inside me that makes me think and act this way scares the shit out of me! Why can't you just go away and leave me alone?! So I can think like I used to, with my twisted sense of reality and wanting to kill people that weren't me! I want to be what I was trained to be!" My hands were shaking and my body felt ready to explode. I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at the floor.

_You're losing it Arcadia. Just die and everything will be fine._

"Dying doesn't solve my problems, okay? So get that idea out of your head, if you even have one! You're just a figment of my imagination," I said, lying down. "You're not real…you're not real."

_If I'm not real, how come you're still talking to me?_

"…go fuck your imaginary self." I pulled the sheets over my body and stared at the lamp on the bedside table. It was the single source of light in the room. Something so small was providing something very necessary.

_Don't even try to avoid your problems by thinking of inspirational things. _Letting out a weak sigh, I turned off the lamp and shut my eyes tightly.

"Leave me alone."

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**AN: Thank you all for reading this chapter! Reviews and all that other stuff would be nice, as always. Have a nice day or night or whatever. Kisses and hugs for you all uwu**

**-DuchessOfChaos**


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